What If My Child Doesn't Make the Team?

If your child did not make the team, it's essential to handle the situation correctly. You can turn this setback into a valuable learning experience. This situation can help your child develop a growth mindset and improve their resilience.

What to Do in the First 24 Hours

When your child finds out they did not make the team, they will likely feel devastated. Let them grieve the loss, and avoid minimizing their feelings. Here's a script to follow in the first 24 hours:

1. Listen to their feelings and concerns.
2. Validate their emotions: it's okay to feel sad or angry.
3. Avoid blaming the coach or the selection process.
4. Separate the result from their worth: not making the team does not define their value as a person.
5. Encourage them to express their feelings, and be patient.

The Week After

After the initial shock has passed, it's time to create a plan to move forward. This is an opportunity to teach your child about perseverance and hard work. Help them set specific, achievable goals for the next season or competition. Studies show that having a growth mindset is essential for overcoming setbacks and achieving success. You can find more information on how to develop a growth mindset in Nurturing Self-Worth by Giannis Notaras.

Creating a Training Plan

To turn this experience into a positive one, create a training plan with your child. This plan should include specific exercises and drills to improve their skills. You can find more information on how to create an effective training plan in our sports parents playbook.

Communicating with Your Child

It's essential to communicate effectively with your child during this time. Avoid giving generic praise or criticism, and instead focus on specific, actionable feedback. You can find more information on how to communicate effectively with your child in our article on what to say after a game.

The Comeback Plan

The comeback plan is a step-by-step protocol to help your child improve their skills and increase their chances of making the team next time. Here's how to create one:

1. Identify areas for improvement: work with your child to identify specific skills they need to improve.
2. Set specific goals: create a list of achievable goals for the next season or competition.
3. Create a training schedule: create a schedule that includes regular practice and training sessions.
4. Monitor progress: regularly track your child's progress and make adjustments to the plan as needed.

You can find more information on how to create an effective comeback plan in our course.